Suicide = A sensitive subject!

By now you probably will no doubt have heard about the tragic death of the Talented Singer/Musician Simone Battle at the young age of 25. She was found hanged in her bedroom on Friday morning. the complete circumstances remain unclear but they are saying that she took her own life. I suppose in time we will know more.

There was people who were fans of Simone from her X factor days to present where she was part of the group GRL created by Pussycat dolls founder Robin Antin. Some people only just yesterday when her death was announced discovered her, whatever the case, all were united in shock that someone so beautiful and Talented decided to put her life to an end.

I'd seen the GRL video on the music channels for Ugly Heart over here in the UK but I didn't know much about her apart from that, it's a shame that people like me missed out on such a talented Artist who no doubt would've gone on to achieve more Amazing goals & dreams.

Comments from yesterday and after Robin Williams death have shown that we as a society still have difficulties in understanding depression and suicide. Comments such as ''Everybody liked Robin, He was so talented, He had a family, he had no reason to do it'' etc and ''Simone was so beautiful and talented and on the verge of hitting the big time with GRL why throw it all away''.

People don't decide to be depressed and it's not a sign of weakness. It is an illness and it can lie dormant, it can go away for a while then come back again. Sometimes it can be a result of so many stressful situations in your life that you just get to a point where everything comes to a head. To have depression doesn't mean you're crazy or you can't handle things, you're human and there's only so much you can take.

The comments of ''They should have asked for help''. When you're in a dark episode of depression it can be difficult to listen to advice and 9/10 you go to the Doctor and they give you some pills and put you on a waiting list to see a counsellor. You try to explain to people but they don't understand. It's a hard thing and people will look at people like Robin Williams and Simone Battle, going through their tweets, Instagrams, last performances trying to see if they can spot a sign of depression in them. It's hard for some people to understand that feeling of being lonely in a crowded room.

I've suffered from Depression and I know that it lies dormant in me. I know that I have to take care of myself. I made the decision to cut out negative/toxic people out of my life, to make sure I do things that I enjoy, make decisions based on how I really feel about the situation and relax as much as I can, eat healthy and keep positive/spread positivity.

Life is hard, it can be a struggle. Have I ever wanted to end my life? Yes, there have been moments in the past when I was going through really difficult situations and I would have thoughts of just ending things but I would think about the people in my life who loved me and there was always this feeling that if I held on a little longer then things might change and I somehow managed to pull myself out of it and move on to better things.

Suicidal thoughts are dangerous, it's that split second decision, I read a true story of a man who tried to hang himself and he had it all set up and instead of it working the rope snapped and he fell to the floor and it was in that moment that he realised, something clicked, he didn't really want to do it. He just wanted to be free, to get away from what he was going through. Things got better for this man which is a great positive end to that story but others are not so lucky.

I don't think that people should Judge people who commit suicide. Comments yesterday in poor taste (you always get trolls on Twitter) saying that Simone 'won't be going to heaven for taking her own life' and 'it's selfish'. I don't believe this and I believe in God. To say that Committing Suicide is selfish I have to argue the fact that with depression it blinds you to what's really in front of you, you don't have the ability to switch off your feelings and it isn't that you don't care for the people around you, you just can't see past the overwhelming depression and some think that it would be better for their loved ones if they weren't around.

I don't know what drove Robin and Simone to take their lives. I know Robin had battled with depression and in the past had some drink/drug addictions. Some speculate that it was due to learning he had the onset of Parkinsons Disease. Nobody may ever know and really it isn't anyone's business to know. With Simone some people continue to speculate, we don't know what was happening in her life. From the outside everything looked great for her, beautiful, talented with the world at her feet. At the same time we don't know the pressures that were put onto her by the industry. Past girl bands have been notorious in the past for having eating disorders, conflicts etc. I'm not saying this is the reason because I don't know but being in that industry takes a lot of hard work, pressure and criticism.

Being famous is not all it's cracked up to be. People say that certain famous people have it all, but do they? The media builds you up and loves tearing you down and at every low point in your life there's someone there with a camera ready to make a few dollars off of your suffering. If they can't bribe any of your friends, family, people from your past to find some dirt on you they make it up and claim sources informed them.  You have to be on top of your game, look perfect, be a size 0 etc and constantly be in competition with people. To me it sounds exhausting but all we 'the public' usually see is the music videos, the glamorousness of the red carpet and interviews and I think that's the part we are attracted to. Appearances can be deceiving as they say.

I know this has been a dark post but suicide and depression is a part of everyday society and if you've ever lost someone close to you to suicide don't beat yourself up thinking 'why didn't I notice sooner' the truth is that a lot of people who go through depression 'mask' it. I've done this myself so many times, pretended to friends, family, co workers that all is fabulous and well when I've felt like crap. Nobody can predict suicide.

Luckily, I have close friends and family I can talk to but it's also myself, knowing that I have to take care of myself and watch out for the danger signs of depression. When things get too stressful to the point that I can't sleep, worrying, anxious then I know I have to take a break and just chill for a little while and that's my advice to you. Cut out negative/toxic people, do things you enjoy, eat well, sleep well, listen to music, take up a hobby, treat yourself, go for a walk, take in the fresh air and scenery. You have to look after yourself.

well, I think I will end this post there. What are your feelings on Suicide/Depression, is it a difficult subject for you to talk about or have you experienced this yourself?

Thank you for reading and remember 'Look After Yourself'!!!!!!!

Much Love : )) x

R.I.P Simone Battle & Robin Williams! Gone but never Forgotten.